Decoder Map #1

Decoder Map #1

Once you have made a general Evidence Board list of clues, it’s time to plug those clues into your Decoder Map. 

The Decoder Map has two separate goals.  The first goal is to give you a “visual” overview of your drama.  It makes a huge difference when you can visually see how big the problem may be and what elements of the problem should be investigated further.

Let’s begin your Decoder Map

Suppose your problem is that your five year old continues to have terrible temper tantrums.  Perhaps your Evidence Board looks like the following.

  • Frequent Times
  • Who’s involved
  • Non-involved people
  • Feelings of being misunderstood
  • Medical complications
  • Communication Issues
  • Controlling wants
  • Maturity
  • Educational/physical issues
  • Parenting
  • Siblings
  • Fears
  • Environmental allergies
  • Possible food or liquid allergies

All of the above issues may be a reason for your child’s temper tantrums.  The problem is that if you stop with this list, you may not discover that tiny piece of information that will change everything.  You need to go deeper. 

Unfortunately, the way our brains are structured it’s difficult for us to go deeper off the top of our heads.  We need a path of “logical thought” to lead us into deeper thought.  We need to brainstorm all kinds of possibilities.  That’s where the Decoder Map makes a huge difference. 

The first decoder map shows the initial evidence list.  

Evidence list decoder map

 (Double click on map to enlarge)
 
The following decoder map shows how to go deeper and find all the possibilities hidden within each possible reason for temper tantrums. Your unique situation may reveal other possibilities. If we only use the Decoder Map to list the general information in any Evidence list, our map will be very simple. As you can see from the following map, it’s only when we ask the “why, where, when, who” possibilities that we uncover more involved reasons for our reactions in situations.
 

Possible reasons for childhood temper tantrums

When you investigate all the possible causes for any drama in your life, you will be able to structure a plan that actually works.  When your plan includes solutions to every unique cause, you have a better chance of making behavioral changes that last a lifetime.
 
****Take a close look at this map.  There’s one thing missing.  No where on the map is “spoiled brat” listed.  No matter what your family drama – most of the time mean spirited titles don’t apply and won’t help you find workable answers. ****

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