Your brain is full of Neuro-pathways that often have deep “ruts”.
No, I’m not being mean. It’s true. We all have Neuro-pathways in our brains. I nick named them I-ways. They are like little expressways that get our brain to a conclusion faster than if we tried to think a situation through.
If we played a word game – I say a word and you say whatever pops into your head – not only would I learn a lot about you, but you would use the I-ways of your brain.
If I say salt – you might say pepper. It’s an expressway that helps your brain process “like” information. Both of those sit on most tables and both are spices. At one time or another most people have used them on food. Therefore….your brain lumps them together.
If I say day – you might say night. Same reasoning. You’ve experienced a lot of days and a lot of nights and they just kind of go together.
If I say car and your answer is London. I’m probably going to do a double take. Those two just don’t go together. What’s the story? Your I-way will always be different from mine because we’ve had different experiences. If someone says car to me, I might respond with the make or color of the car I currently own. I might even respond with something connected to the car like rust or too expensive to drive.
Neuro-pathways can be very helpful. They help us process information quickly. Let’s suppose I’ve experienced a good feeling by being helpful to older people. I’m walking and I see an old lady struggling to cross the street. Because I’ve developed a pleasing I-way and a good rut, my brain won’t spend more than a second on the decision to help her. I’ll just naturally run to take her hand.
Unfortunately, those heavily traveled I-ways can develop ruts. We can go over and over the information so much that our brain begins to dig a deep rut that won’t allow us to consider any new information.
Perhaps there’s an interesting reason for the “If I say car and you answer London” statement. What if you can’t get out of that rut because while you were on vacation in London – driving a car – you had an accident and your husband was killed? It was a horrific event. With the help of some friends and a lot of drugs you were able to board a plane and get back home. Now, however, the rut is causing daily pain. You refuse to ride in cars. You have your groceries delivered and you wouldn’t dare get in a car without being medicated. The rut you’ve created in your brain has you totally convinced that the “only answer” is to avoid cars.
In actuality, cars were never your “real” problem. A drunk driver was your problem. Your brain picked an I-way to explain your trauma. Cars kill. Your brain moved over and over that I-way until it created a rut that won’t allow any new information and now you are being controlled by a lie.
Killers have the same issues. Once you break down all the problems and deviance, you’ll find one simple thought. Killers usually believe that someone else is responsible for their pain. They have rehearsed the pain over and over again until it has become a deep rut. Finally in desperation, they feel forced to take action to get rid of the deep pain they feel.
Unfortunately for them, the pain will never go away because they can’t reach out of the rut to claim a new answer. It will take a miracle for them to stop hurting others in the same way they feel they are being hurt.
The solution is not to rid the world of cars or guns or knives or candle sticks or anything else that can be used as a weapon. The solution is to get hurting people out of their rut. Help them take advantage of solutions that lift them to a better life.
Aren’t there some people that have crossed a line and they are just evil? Yes. Sometimes the rut can become so deep and so painful that it consumes the brain. Most of the time when the pain reaches that level, there are no other solutions but to incarcerate or shoot back. The real trick is to find a way to cure the hurts before the rut becomes that entrenched.
Mom – Dad – You are the first line of defense to prevent dangerous ruts. The Bible encourages you to “bring up a child in the way he should go and he won’t depart from it”. That’s an amazing truth whether you believe in the Bible or not. It also advises that you should not “provoke” your children to anger. 90% of the anger expressed in psychologists offices is due to a painful trauma or a relationship hurt that was allowed to become a rut. Parents can prevent children from becoming adults with ruts that ruin lives. You can do it!
We don’t have a gun control problem in this country – we have a “rut” problem. Too many adults have been hurt over and over and have allowed that hurt to fester into a boiling rut. They walk around loaded for bear because they don’t know how else to express the pain. Should they be held accountable for their actions? – ABSOLUTELY! Should families accept the challenge to teach and train their children to avoid a “rut” problem? You bet!
Again though….let’s be fair….we don’t have a gun problem – we do have a rut problem.
If every parent in America would parent for the future, provide a calm and loving home, stop the fussing, fighting and lives of anger, be honorable and teach their children how to have a good life – America would change. We can change America one family at a time. Violence would decrease and shootings would be rare. Yep….it is that simple.
Parents….we can change the future of this country if we change the ruts our children experience. Give them new ruts – healthy ruts- ruts that seek to do good – educated ruts and ruts that follow compassion and love…..that will work!